Divorce is a painful, complicated process. It is surrounded by a number of myths, some more far-flung than others. Many of these myths can be harmful if believed, and can lead to more pain. Here are some common divorce myths, and the truth behind them.
Divorces Are Always Messy
A divorce can be messy if both parties are not cooperative. Mediation with your attorney may help you to settle disputes amicably. An experienced mediator can ensure both parties heard and respected, and can stop dramatic disagreements before they occur. If agreements can be reached outside of court, couples can save themselves the expense of taking their divorce to court.
Both Spouses Must Agree to Divorce
It is easiest when both parties agree to the divorce, but it is not necessary. Massachusetts recognizes “no-fault” divorce, which means neither spouse has to prove that the breakdown of the marriage it the fault of the other. You do not need to prove any fault in order to be granted a divorce.
Staying Together for the Kids is Good
Remaining in an unhealthy marriage because you have children can lead to more pain. Frequently, couples will remain together believing that a divorce will affect the access their children have to both parents, or breaking up the family will cause the children harm. Often though, children are relieved at the transition, after watching unhappy parents arguing frequently. Parents can also take the opportunity to model healthy relationships for their children.
Divorce Is Always One Partner’s Fault
Many divorces happen simply because the couple outgrows each other. As people change over time, they may discover that their marriage is no longer thriving. If you can no longer live with your partner because of these changes, a divorce can allow you both to move forward with your lives. Massachusetts allows “no-fault” divorces, in which couples can choose to dissolve their marriage without proving one party was at fault for the break-up.
Disagreements Always Lead to Divorce
All couples fight. Disagreements are a natural part of a relationship, and do not signal an impending divorce. Every individual has their own opinion, and occasionally a couple might disagree. What is important is whether a couple can handle their arguments with respect for each other.
The Mother Will Always Get Custody
Often, primary custody of children will be awarded to the mother, but this is not always true. If the mother proves to be unstable or incapable of caring for the children, a judge may award custody to the father. Children who are older may also be permitted to choose who they want to live with. Other couples may share custody of their children as well.
Having Children Can Prevent a Divorce
Some couples may decide to have a child as an effort to save their marriage. This rarely works, and will often result in either an unhappy couple or a divorce. A couple may try to stay together to raise their child, but this risks exposing the child to strained, unhealthy relationships. A child should not be used as a tool to hold on to a spouse.
You may exhaust every option to save your marriage, and still find that love and respect for your spouse are no longer thriving. If this is the case, divorce may be a healthy resolution. Working cooperatively with your spouse to reach an agreement can save time, money, and heart-ache when going through the divorce process. It is important to remember that no divorce is the same as another, and to not believe the myths of divorce.
If the love has left your marriage and you are contemplating divorce, contact a Framingham divorce lawyer. Our attorneys at Barach Law Group LLC are prepared to provide you with supportive assistance and personalized legal solutions. Contact our firm today to begin your free consultation.